Thursday, November 3, 2011

I didn't do it.

In my "recovery process" trying to move beyond the past and fully enjoy the wonderful life I have now I have had occasion to reflect on my past relationship and why it didn't work. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not the perfect partner and I am not fully innocent in the ultimate demise of my first marriage, but I didn't make him that way. I did not imagine it and I didn't make him become that way.

This is something that I have discovered is a common thread in women who have survived an abusive relationship. Blaming yourself or wondering if you "made him do it" or if you just "created the monster in your head" is not uncommon, but it is not what happened to me. I thought about it. What I decided was this: Look at his history! He was not innocent before the relationship in question. In my case my ex had molested his cousin when he was 7 (he admitted that to me when we were married), he had chased his sister through the woods and tried to stab her on the hood of an old car that was dumped down there (I saw the slash marks on the car he'd  have killed her), and another ex girlfriend had pressed charges against him for assault. I didn't create the monster, but I did a good job of ignoring it.I am guilty of putting myself in a bad situation and thinking I could "fix" someone, but I didn't make him that way  and I won't be turning my current husband into a monster because he wasn't one before I met him.
The bottom line is that my life is wonderful now because I have built it that way for myself. I do deserve it. I deserve to be happy and I deserve to have people in my life that want me to be happy. Learning that has been a challenge, and it it something that I still work on and affirm daily, but it is true!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Keeping my mouth shut is not something I've ever been good at

Don' t get me wrong, if I'm trusted with a secret it'll go with me to the grave. I just can't keep my opinions to myself so well. Just heard some news the other day that almost made me physically ill. My ex-husband is going to be a father?! There are lots of people in this world who would make excellent parents who can't have children, but this! I don't know for sure that he will abuse the child, but all of the warning signs are there! Anyone who has done the things he has done or collected the things he used to have could not have changed so much. If anything he is hiding what he truly is and it will come out. I truly fear for that child. The worst thing is that there is not one damn thing I can do to protect it. I don't know why I feel like I should other than that no child should ever have to live with someone like that.
The whole thing has got my mind going to dark places that I usually try to avoid. The only thing I can do is to focus on the fact that I got out and luckily my babies have a WONDERFUL father who wants nothing but the best for them and would protect me and them to the death. It makes me want to move out of town. I don't want my children to have to associate with any child he has. I had seriously hoped that he couldn't have children, but now I find myself hoping that his new wife will wise up and leave him and never ever let him be alone with that baby. I think if I move away I won't think about it. I won't ever have to deal with the situation of my children asking me why they can't go to a party at so-and-so's house. It is a small town. I am feeling helpless. I just need to let it go. I need to focus on me and my family and what I have here. I need to stay out of it, but I can't be totally silent. (which is why I'm subjecting any readers of my blog to this rant).  Seriously some people should not be allowed to breed.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Daddy's being a soldier

When I was trying to find a way to tell my oldest that his daddy was gone for drill weekends I came up with this phrase to describe it. He isn't "playing army" there is not much play going on where he is right now. This weekend is one of his three day weekends and it isn't easy to have him away. I'm really not looking forward to the upcoming deployment (I've been told I can't expand upon that at all). It will be our first one since we've been together if you don't count the almost-deployment that happened when I was pregnant with Stinkbug. He re-injured himself in training (but still completed the training with one working arm). He has healed up back to his old self and the next one ... well we don't expect they will taser him this time. I've come up with ideas to help the kids get through a year without Daddy. We plan to get him a laptop so we can Skype, a recordable story book so he can read to the kids whenever they want, and I may make them "Daddy dolls" if I can get a good full-body picture of him in his ACU's. I don't know what I'm going to do for me though. I'm going to miss him like crazy. Daddy's being a soldier, my husband is a soldier. It isn't what he does it is who he is. It is part of what makes him who he is (the man I love). It won't be easy, but millions have been through it and we'll make it too. I have some time still before this happens. I am an independent and strong-willed woman and Superman is as strong-willed and independent as I am. He drives me crazy in good ways and bad. We compliment each other though and we make each other stronger. If I can put up with him being here I can put up with him being gone, and I will be all the happier when he does come home.
My Superman!  I <3 You!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The birthday month has begun!

Turtle-bug brand new
My littlest is now 1.

 His birthday was yesterday. My birthday is tomorrow and I'll be hit by hitting 29. Father's day is next Sunday (saving a whole other post for that) Then my Mother-in-law's birthday is the 23rd, my nephew is the 24th, Superman's is the 28th He'll be 28.

Superman and Stinkbug at Stinkbug's 2nd Birthda
 It is a busy month for birthdays. Unfortunately we can't do much right now and we have to wait to celebrate Turtle-bug's birthday until Superman gets home from Guard (on his birthday no less).  So busy, busy! I made brownies for Turtle-bug last night and he really seemed to enjoy them immensely based on his reaction and the amount of brownie on him after he was done. Isn't it fascinating how kids love a food so much they want to wear it?? and then they do! Well, Happy Birthday to anyone else who shares this busy month with us, and of course, to the US Army celebrating a birthday today! 

Happy Birthday US Army!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Having a good cry

Tonight after putting my boys in bed. I am sitting up alone and having a good cry. I am stressed out about how to keep things running smoothly until we can get things back on track after a major setback that happened, crazy enough, on the day we got married. I'm trying to take the bad with the good and to maintain some type of grace, but I'm having a moment of weakness. My Superman is not home. He is training with the Guard right now. I'm doing my best to be strong for him. I know that I will be without him for a whole year in the next year or two, and I'm not new to this training stuff. I know that he will get things done so that we will be okay, but I feel like it is up to me in the meantime. I worry. It's what I do. I have anxiety issues anyway, and I know that. I know things will turn out and I know that this is just a speed bump, but I still don't have to like it. Not right now-- this is my time to just let myself feel how I feel and let it out. I'm doing this now so I can stay strong for my boys. I would urge anyone in my position to do the same. Let yourself feel what you feel, let it out, then you can continue to be strong and carry on and get on with making things better for yourself and your family.

Friday, June 3, 2011


Okay, so Superman and I haven't gotten married yet. Not really, even though I call him my husband regularly. However we are tying the knot legally on Tuesday. Now I'm getting all nervous and anxious and excited. I'm super happy about it, but I have butterflies like nobody's business.  I have been through a wedding before, but this time I know it is the real deal. I'm in it for good. He's a great guy and a wonderful father and I love him to pieces. I really wonder though if I'm not going to drop some weight really fast now. I have nervous energy and while I generally have a stomach like a nuclear reaction chamber I feel a little ill when I'm nervous. I don't get stage fright, but this will be a small affair- very casual, just immediate family, our witnesses and the kids.  I have a nice dress that I'm going to wear, but no flowers, no plan, no ceremony really to speak of... and still I'm nervous.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Getting out- The story I haven't told.

I just realized that I never really told my story, like at all. I live in a small town. My parents are divorced and my dad is re-married to my step-mom (who is a great step-mom, thank you). I have lived in the same little town my whole life. I was a bright enough kid (was always labeled the "smart kid" in school and was tested and placed in the gifted program when I was in 4th grade). I did some pretty dumb stuff as a teenager though. I took the advanced classes, sure, but I didn't apply myself, not really. That person that everyone hates because they got an A in Trig without studying- yeah that was me.
I could have done so much more,  but I was dumb and I thought the guy I was dating was great-- yeah really dumb. I did get good grades and I took the ACT once, I even started college (was in the ADN program) but I dropped out. I got married to the guy I had thought was the only guy that would ever like me. I didn't think of myself as being attractive. I was the mediocre friend of a hot girl. I was a little heavy- more curvy than fat, but I didn't see it that way. I lost touch with a lot of friends because he kept me away from them. He tried to do the same with my family.
Then things started getting even worse. I struggled with depression off and on. He continually told me that I was fat, that I was stupid, and that no one else would have me and he was the best thing that ever happened to me (On a side note, If anyone EVER says those things - run, run far far away they are NO GOOD and you do deserve better!). Things continued to spiral out of control. He'd be just absolutely awful to me then apologize and do something nice and promise me that it would never happen again.
He started to get mad at me for things he dreamed I did. That's right I hadn't even done them and he'd fly off the handle. One of those is something that still scares me, He said dreamed that I had gotten pregnant using artificial insemination and that in the dream he killed me and my offensive child because he'd never let me have someone else's baby. He'd kill me and my child if it ever happened. At the time I didn't worry because I wasn't planning on going anywhere and I didn't have any children, just pets, and besides, he apologized and tried to be really nice to me that morning.
He continued to get worse. During one fight I was getting ready to leave. Not just leave him leave the area, the entire part of the world that I was comfortable with and knew. I was going to hitchhike, or get a bus ticket, or whatever it took, but I was going to go to New York where a friend of mine was for school and start over. I didn't even know how I'd find her once I got there. I really hadn't planned anything, but I started to write a note for my parents so that they wouldn't freak too badly. He grabbed my piece of paper and ripped it in half. He said "you aren't taking the cowards' way out so just forget it". I guess he thought I was going to kill myself and was writing the suicide note. Then he hit me.
Once that had happened my trust was completely shattered. It was bad enough the things he'd tried to convince me to do. He wanted some things in the bedroom that made me uncomfortable or I found humiliating and I'm not an unadventurous person. I still don't know why I stayed as long as I did. I had second thoughts before the wedding and a friend of mine told me then that if I was not 100% completely sure that this was what I wanted then I didn't have to go through with it, but I did it anyway.  Then he came back from a "fishing trip" with a friend and asked me what I thought of him experimenting with his friend. I told him I didn't like the idea of him cheating on me with anyone, man or woman. Other things he had done that made me uncomfortable included showing people intimate pictures, and his porn addiction. His porn collection, as I discovered too late to do anything about it included naked pictures of children, and beastiality.  It sickened me. I didn't want him to touch me. He told me that if we ever had children and specifically a girl that he wanted to take pictures of her naked every year. to watch her development. I also found out that when he was 7 he molested a younger cousin- he admitted that to me. He had also tried to stab his sister. That was probably the roots of the big fight.
The big fight ended with me curled up in a ball on the bed and him screaming at me. He was holding his gun- an SKS that his parents had bought for him from someone who used to be his friend. I heard him load the gun then he told me to look at him. He said he wouldn't shoot me in the back and that I had to look at him. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. I still don't know what stopped him or why I didn't go to the police. I was terrified. I lived in terror and started trying to get myself out of there, but was afraid to leave. I was afraid to ask for help. I worried that it meant I was weak. I worried about what would happen- would he kill me? would he harm my family?
At that time I was holding the first job that he had let me keep. I was working for a sporting goods store that offered me excellent discounts and he liked that. They also offered me advancement opportunity, and a chance to travel to help new stores with grand openings. I was good at my job, and the job was good to me. I made new friends there. I started to feel better about myself. I started to exercise and feel even better about myself and how I looked. I couldn't afford to eat better because I was the sole source of income and he took every spare cent, but I was looking and feeling better. I started to pick up clothes that fit on clearance at work as soon as I'd get paid so he couldn't take the money. I started seeing friends again. One of them I got to see because he had it in his head that since he was a guy it was his friend.
I got stronger. Strong enough to leave. I moved in with a friend until I could get my own place. My parents helped me with my security deposit and I had a beautiful loft apartment in downtown. I was happy for the first time. I was also getting closer to a guy. That friend that my ex had thought was his friend had had a crush on me in high school, and I on him. We started seeing each other. It just felt right. At the time, he was one of the few men in the world I would have let that close. I knew he wouldn't take advantage of my weaknesses and I knew that I wasn't looking for anything serious at the time so his approach of just casually dating, but discussing it if either of us wants to see someone else seemed perfect. I fell for him HARD. He moved away, but I kept visiting him because I knew that if I didn't I'd lose the friendship. We kept seeing each other and he'd come back and stay with me from time to time. When he lost his nerve with staying with a relative and wanted out I offered to let him move in with me. After that he found out he was going to deploy to Kosovo and I found out a month before he left for pre-deployment training that I was pregnant. I was scared. I didn't want my ex to find out. I remembered his threat. I didn't know how the new man in my life would react to the news, but I was thrilled with his reaction. He decided that we'd wait to tell anyone the news until it was confirmed by the blood test from the doctor, but 15 minutes later he was on the phone calling his mom. He was excited. He had been told he only had a 5% chance of ever having a child naturally.
The "perfect" apartment I had was starting to make me ill- literally. There was mold, a leak in the roof that wouldn't stop, and lots of stairs that we both knew would be a problem later on. Not to mention the apartment only had one bedroom. Since I knew my Superman was in it for the long haul and that he'd help me out I found a new place. a small two bedroom that we could make work. Superman was re-injured (he got a purple heart in Iraq and still has shrapnel in his elbow) during training and was sent home. Once he was home we had too much stuff, and a friend of his's mom was losing her place and he decided to help her out, so we moved again-two days before Stinkbug was born (The roommate from hell is another story, that I won't get into, but she now has a job and her own place and is doing well).I'll tell more of this part of my story later on, but I struggled with post-partum depression, then when I got pregnant the second time I asked my doctor for help and was put on Celexa. By the time Turtle-bug was born, things were looking much better to me.
 We've had our ups and downs, but we are stronger now. I am stronger now. I learned that the first step to recovery and to being truly free was learning to love myself again. This is something that I still struggle with. It is possibly why I found myself in that position to begin with. There are still lots of times that I don't think I have what it takes, but I know that I have my boys and I have my Superman and they are my rock. I am in love. I am happy, and learning to love myself is an ongoing process.
For anyone who is in an abusive relationship- mine was not as bad as it could have been. Don't believe when they say that they'll never do it again-without treatment. Don't believe when they say that you are stupid, ugly, fat, or that you deserve what they are doing to you. Don't believe that you are stuck. GET HELP, GET OUT. The rest will sort itself afterwards. Especially if you have children- GET OUT. Find a friend, Find a shelter, GET HELP. I could never have done it without the support of friends and family. Getting out is step 1. Don't stop there. If you don't learn to respect yourself, and find value within you, you may fall into the same trap again. If you don't learn to forgive yourself you may never be able to treat that perfectly decent partner the way he/she deserves to be treated. I don't ask you to forgive the abuser- that is between you and whatever higher power you may believe in. There is no weakness in seeking help, it makes you stronger. The dark part of my life no longer has power over me. My ex can no longer hold me down, he never could. I was holding myself and now I've decided to FLY!

On a side note I found out when I was pregnant with turtle-bug that my ex was engaged to someone whom I believe is related to me distantly. I tried to reach out and tell what I knew him to be. They are now married. I hope that she never sees the monster he was to me.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

a Break from the Break

Superman had to work today after being home for a couple of days because of a USDA thing- long story. Anyhow. I've noticed something. I don't stick to my routine, and I get behind when he's off work - especially when he's off work, but not here. I think it may have something to do with him getting me to take a nap when the boys are down for theirs, or leaving my bedtime routine undone in favor of going to bed at the same time he does. I think I need to get him more involved when he's home. I don't know. Am I the only SAHM that gets behind when her Honey is home? How did my dining room table get buried in two days? Why did it take him four days to pick up his dirty laundry and move the bags he had packed for drill? Why do they call it a PAIR of pants or a t.v. SET if you only get one? Why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?  The world may never know...  In any case I still have some work to do while at least one of my boys is still napping.

My Superman

I love him, and I love having him home, but I really need to figure out how to keep up while he's here. Guess that is why he tells me that I need to learn to "roll with it"-- which is where I got the name for my blog.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Getting into the swing...

I have recently discovered the FLYLady method of cleaning and I'm totally digging it. While in the past 3-4 days I haven't managed to get my night time routine done I have been fairly consistent about getting the morning stuff squared away and I've almost caught up on my laundry (a feat I thought I'd never accomplish). I'm even thinking that we may be ready for a yard sale in a couple of weeks if all goes well and someone can watch my little bugs on Sunday so Superman and I can go through some boxes in the basement.
In the mean time my youngest is now 11 months old. He is now about the age his older brother was when he was conceived and that got me thinking about babies. I really do want another one, but I'm in no hurry right now. I guess I keep seeing other people pregnant and thinking about having another tiny little one to snuggle, but then I realize- I still have one that loves to be snuggled (two actually) and one that is still in diapers, one still working on potty training. I don't need another baby just yet. I can (and hope to) wait until Superman gets back from his next deployment before I have the third and final biological child. After that I'm getting fixed. For now I'm just now getting into the swing of things and I need to catch up on sleep from the little one who is just now (mostly) sleeping all night.

The Turtle-bug and the Stinkbug each sound asleep in their beds like little napping angels. 

Monday, May 9, 2011

The power of positivity

Okay Superman was watching "The Secret" on Netflix the other day and we got to talking about our relationship and things we are going to try to do to make things run more smoothly. We started talking about the power of positive thinking. I am a believer in this, partly because I am somewhat of an empath and if I am around someone who is putting off negativity it seems to really make me much more negative. Plus if you approach things with a positive outlook, even the bad stuff doesn't seem so bad. In any case we are both making an effort. It is difficult for me to not be sarcastic. That is pretty well ingrained in my personality, but I'm really trying. Another thing is that we are recognizing that neither one of us is stupid and we see and know what needs to be done (honestly he's worse about this than I am) and not making things sound like commands. On that note I am very aware that keeping the house nice and clean enough for company is something that I need to work on. It isn't easy with two highly active little boys needing mommy, but I'm working on it. One step I made on this today is that I am starting the FLYLady method. So today I shined my sink- actually I shined all three sinks and I will do it before bed tonight, and every night hereafter if I can keep up with this. Since I pretty well cleaned the kitchen the other day it was really nice. Kind of a shining jewel of the clean room instead of a water stain speckled mess. Well. I'm going to try to blog more often. Tomorrow my FLYLady baby step is to get dressed to lace up shoes first thing in the morning. Meaning I dry my hair, fix my face, get dressed and put on socks and shoes before I do anything else. Taking care of me first- it is a challenge after all. If I keep this up I may have to get more non-stretch pants lol.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Changing habits and breaking personal barriers

Well, I guess I'll start this by saying that I love my Superman and while we are compatible in almost every way there is one on-going battle in our house, housekeeping. More specifically my seeming inability to have the house clean when he gets home from work. I really want to be that perfect wife and mother, a crunchy June Cleaver. I just can't seem to get myself wrapped around the tasks that need to be done. I'd rather screw around on the internet or play with my kids. It isn't that I sit around and do absolutely nothing. I get enough  laundry done that we have something to wear each day and the dishes get done (though they need it right now), but toys get scattered. Clutter piles up and I have become clutter-blind. I let it sit. I determine "more important things" to do. It doesn't help me any because when the house looks bad I feel really bad about it. I beat myself up over it all the time, but I seem to have lead in my butt when it comes to getting stuff done. The boys want attention-need attention. I need my "sanity time" to connect with other adults, even if it is only on Facebook.
I am making progress. I have been getting toys picked up most nights. I do pick up through the day and vacuum at least once a day. With a crawler that is a necessity.  I am breaking things down into more manageable tasks and getting it done. Laundry isn't so bad if I fold it and put it away as soon as I bring it up. It actually gets done if I sneak downstairs two or three times a day. I still have a strong distaste for the fact that the laundry is in the basement, but oh, well. I am working on unplugging more often and getting it done. I can get online afterwards. I need to fix this because it seems to be the one thing that causes fights for me and Superman. Getting passed my own laziness has been the biggest thing. He helps more when he's home too. There is more give and less take. It helps a lot.
Housekeeping isn't the only thing that has suffered since having the boys. There are other things I have neglected as well. I actually have not finished reading a book since Will was born. I started one while I was pregnant and I still have not finished it. I don't take the time to do things like I should. My priorities are a little screwy, but I'm getting things sorted out.Part of learning to Roll with it is learning to get things done regardless of the obstacles  in my way. Unfortunately the biggest obstacle is myself. This is true with housekeeping, weight loss, diet, lots of stuff. I could really be doing something if I hadn't been in my own way for years now, but then again I may not have my boys. That is another story all together.

Monday, March 28, 2011

For Sale: Sassy two year old

Okay, so the title is a bit extreme. I'm not REALLY going to get rid of him. He's my baby he always will be, but where did all this come from? He's gotten so sassy for a kid who can't really say all the words he knows and wants to say. Last night I told him it was time to go potty (a routine at bedtime), and he snapped back at me, "NO! SHUT UP!" Seriously?! Telling ME to shut up! I couldn't believe the nerve of this kid, but he's only two. He doesn't really know what that means.
 He doesn't really know that it is rude and improper. Where did he hear it? (Honestly I know that answer. We are not innocent of having fights in front of our kids, and we really should be more respectful to each other). Tonight, however, I couldn't tolerate the behavior. I had both boys in the bathtub, and Stinkbug was throwing water- really throwing whole cups of water all over the bathroom. I told him  no and he started getting sassy again. I told him to stop or he'd have to get out and that is when it happened- He HIT the baby! I tried to make him say sorry, but he completely refused. So, I pulled him out of the tub and wrapped him in a towel. He threw himself in the floor and cried. then after he got dried off and I had Turtlebug out and dressed in pajamas I went to lotion him up and put him in his. I got him lotioned up, and went to grab his pull-up and jammies and what did the little shit do? he peed in the floor in his room! When I got back he pointed at the puddle and proclaimed "Mommy I peed." I told him no, told him we don't do that and  that he needs to do that in the potty. He hasn't done that in months! Was he just being Willful? I don't know. I'm so frustrated. I put him in bed. He was upset.
I know he's jealous and he wants more attention. He keeps trying to get in his brother's walker and I keep telling him no and taking him out. I tried to tell him he'd break it and it would hurt him, but he is persistent. I want to nurture the good side of persistence, but this is too much! I'm going crazy. I know, I know it's the "terrible twos" and it will pass. . . eventually, but I miss my sweet baby. I really feel like I'm failing him..I'm trying to be better at keeping up the house. Now that the little one is crawling and oh, by the way starting to pull up on things to stand (yippee), I have to. I have to keep the floors cleared of dropped food, and keep small or broken toys out of his reach. I have to keep up with the laundry so we have clean clothes to wear, I have to keep up with the dishes and kitchen messes so we don't get bugs and we have a safe, clean place to fix meals, I have to prepare nutritious meals for the boys so they have their needs met, and I am struggling to do all this, give both boys the attention they so badly want and need, and maintain my sanity. I don't know what I'm going to do. I just know I need to keep trying, and try not to cry in front of them because of this.

                             This is my Stinkbug finding new and creative ways to get into trouble.

Friday, February 18, 2011

I haven't done anything today

Oh, the chance to breathe, and yet I know that there is sooooo much that I need to get done. I've not yet picked up toys, vacuumed the floors, loaded the dishwasher, put laundry away (or washed anymore for that matter). I haven't done a whole lot yet today, but I have done a lot. I fed the boys breakfast, took them for a walk, went to the drugstore to pick up a prescription, fed them lunch, played outside on the swings, then pushed the baby around in the Cozy Coupe while Stinkbug rode his push-along 4 wheeler in the yard, drew with sidewalk chalk, on the front walk, wrestled both boys into the house and got them both down for a rare everyone-at-once nap. Oh, I also called the landlord because I discovered that someone tried to force our sliding glass door open while it was snowy out and pushed it off track, so it's stuck. I hope that gets fixed soon so I can use my clothesline. Well, I took time for myself instead of getting anything done now and sounds like my LO is awake so IF I can get him back to sleep I think I might try to accomplish something.....No I don't do anything lol

Friday, January 21, 2011

Waiting...with random thoughts of the day.

Well the weather is bad and Superman was at work today. He's a good half hour late getting home already and I'm beginning to get worried. I know it's probably just a matter of him getting held up at work and the guy he rides with taking his time, but still, I worry.

 I got both of the boys down for bed and they both got baths tonight. It was badly needed. I hate to admit it, but I'd let Stinkbug go without for a few nights and he was starting to smell like a foot. That's bad.I know better, but he had been so tired at bath time and he's been having such trouble with dry skin that I've been letting him not take a bath. I really just need to work on making sure I put lotion on the poor kid morning and night.

I got more done today than I did yesterday, but still not as much as I need to get done. Superman is off 4 days this week though and I need to make sure I get caught up during that time. I also need to make sure I get over to visit my dad and step-mom at their new house, which means Stinkbug gets his allergy medicine the night before so we don't have to hit the med neb when we get home. Stinkbug has allergies to cats (among other things) and Dad and S. have 4 of them. They keep their house clean, but Stink loves cats (and all other animals too) and has to give them hugs, pet them and generally mess with them. Unfortunately this leads to wheezing, difficulty breathing, and until we got the nebulizer it meant trips to the ER for breathing treatments, but now we can take care of it ourselves. Fortunately though if he gets the Zyrtec the night before we avoid all problems entirely.

Wow, this is the most random post I have written to date. It did manage to kill a little bit of time though and Superman hasn't made it home yet. I guess the worrying goes hand in hand with being a mom and an army wife. It is the civilian job he's late getting home from though.

Till the next


Monday, January 17, 2011

Bullying, does anyone ever outgrow it?

Bullying is something that has been getting more press these days especially since the internet has made it more visible and the consequences of severe cases are shown more in the media, but what happens when it is not just kids doing the bullying? Why do parents contribute to the bullying, even amplifying the original problem? I just read a post from a fellow blogging mom about such a case. ( )  Her daughter had been bullied in a home school group (yeah that's right even home schooled kids aren't immune to this epidemic). To toss this in it was a group she had been a founding member of. When she brought the problem to the attention of the bully's mom she was ignored, not just glazing over the subject, but completely "you don't exist" ignored for months. Then someone from the group that she had considered a friend forwarded her texts venting and discussing the problem to the other Mom (What a DOUCHE!) Seriously, no loyalty whatsoever huh? Anyhow now even though the other kids have said that yes, there was bullying going on toward KW's daughter, the group has more or less pushed her out! She did not mention names in any posts about them even now that she is bringing it all to light and venting in her blog! She has been very decent about the whole thing, in my opinion! I've been bullied myself. It is not a new problem in the least, but seriously! GROW UP PEOPLE!!!! I have a little boy that is very physical and I watch him like a hawk and even though he's only two I'm aware that he's more likely to be the bully than some kids because of how physical he is, but I'm watching out for it! I don't want to be that mom who won't believe that her kid did something bad. He's a kid, he does stuff he shouldn't that's part of it, but I don't let him get away with it!!!! I think as parents we really need to watch our own examples and listen to our children, and keep communication open in order to help keep bullying to a minimum. Personally I applaud KW for keeping her cool. I'm afraid I would have either cried or punched the other mom in the face when she was yelling at me!

And now, to cleanse the palate. Because I can't be mad at this cute baby polar bear!


Thursday, January 6, 2011

How do you get a two year old to eat vegetables?

I don't think there is a right answer to that question. There certainly is no easy answer. There may not be an answer at all. I am getting creative. Aside from hiding them in other foods, today I fried some plantain. That might not sound too exotic to some people, but here in white bread Missouri where I can't even find quinoa in the store it is on the creative side. Okay, so technically it is a fruit, let's not split hairs here. I am going to see if he'll eat it. I rather enjoyed it. Stuff like that is a treat for me, arguably the most adventurous eater of the family. (Okay so Superman has eaten and enjoyed far more things than I have, but he lived in Korea for two years for crying out loud!) I hope Stinkbug enjoys it. I really would like to see him trying more things. Today plantain, tomorrow - who knows maybe veggie burgers!


Sunday, January 2, 2011

48 Hours Facebook Free. I'm giving it a shot!

I would by no means consider myself to be addicted to the social networking site Facebook, but I do waste way too much time on there! I decided today to go 48 hours without logging on and see how much I can get done if I am on the computer that much less. So far I have gotten a LOT of cleaning done. Now naps are over and I have to go get my oldest from his crib so he can have his snack and I can fix supper. It has been a very productive afternoon. I think this will convince me to spend less time on there, but I'll probably still log in once every other day at the very least. I do have 3 pages to keep up after all. (personal page, page for my blog, page for my home business that I'd like to really get going (but don't know if I'll have the time)). Well, anyhow. I have to pry myself off of here and get more done. This is an experiment that may very well help me learn to balance things a little better. Wish me luck!