Friday, April 15, 2011

Changing habits and breaking personal barriers

Well, I guess I'll start this by saying that I love my Superman and while we are compatible in almost every way there is one on-going battle in our house, housekeeping. More specifically my seeming inability to have the house clean when he gets home from work. I really want to be that perfect wife and mother, a crunchy June Cleaver. I just can't seem to get myself wrapped around the tasks that need to be done. I'd rather screw around on the internet or play with my kids. It isn't that I sit around and do absolutely nothing. I get enough  laundry done that we have something to wear each day and the dishes get done (though they need it right now), but toys get scattered. Clutter piles up and I have become clutter-blind. I let it sit. I determine "more important things" to do. It doesn't help me any because when the house looks bad I feel really bad about it. I beat myself up over it all the time, but I seem to have lead in my butt when it comes to getting stuff done. The boys want attention-need attention. I need my "sanity time" to connect with other adults, even if it is only on Facebook.
I am making progress. I have been getting toys picked up most nights. I do pick up through the day and vacuum at least once a day. With a crawler that is a necessity.  I am breaking things down into more manageable tasks and getting it done. Laundry isn't so bad if I fold it and put it away as soon as I bring it up. It actually gets done if I sneak downstairs two or three times a day. I still have a strong distaste for the fact that the laundry is in the basement, but oh, well. I am working on unplugging more often and getting it done. I can get online afterwards. I need to fix this because it seems to be the one thing that causes fights for me and Superman. Getting passed my own laziness has been the biggest thing. He helps more when he's home too. There is more give and less take. It helps a lot.
Housekeeping isn't the only thing that has suffered since having the boys. There are other things I have neglected as well. I actually have not finished reading a book since Will was born. I started one while I was pregnant and I still have not finished it. I don't take the time to do things like I should. My priorities are a little screwy, but I'm getting things sorted out.Part of learning to Roll with it is learning to get things done regardless of the obstacles  in my way. Unfortunately the biggest obstacle is myself. This is true with housekeeping, weight loss, diet, lots of stuff. I could really be doing something if I hadn't been in my own way for years now, but then again I may not have my boys. That is another story all together.

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