The birthday month has begun!

Turtle-bug brand new

My littlest is now 1.

 His birthday was yesterday. My birthday is tomorrow and I'll be hit by hitting 29. Father's day is next Sunday (saving a whole other post for that) Then my Mother-in-law's birthday is the 23rd, my nephew is the 24th, Superman's is the 28th He'll be 28.

Superman and Stinkbug at Stinkbug's 2nd Birthda
 It is a busy month for birthdays. Unfortunately we can't do much right now and we have to wait to celebrate Turtle-bug's birthday until Superman gets home from Guard (on his birthday no less).  So busy, busy! I made brownies for Turtle-bug last night and he really seemed to enjoy them immensely based on his reaction and the amount of brownie on him after he was done. Isn't it fascinating how kids love a food so much they want to wear it?? and then they do! Well, Happy Birthday to anyone else who shares this busy month with us, and of course, to the US Army celebrating a birthday today! 

Happy Birthday US Army!

Having a good cry

Tonight after putting my boys in bed. I am sitting up alone and having a good cry. I am stressed out about how to keep things running smoothly until we can get things back on track after a major setback that happened, crazy enough, on the day we got married. I'm trying to take the bad with the good and to maintain some type of grace, but I'm having a moment of weakness. My Superman is not home. He is training with the Guard right now. I'm doing my best to be strong for him. I know that I will be without him for a whole year in the next year or two, and I'm not new to this training stuff. I know that he will get things done so that we will be okay, but I feel like it is up to me in the meantime. I worry. It's what I do. I have anxiety issues anyway, and I know that. I know things will turn out and I know that this is just a speed bump, but I still don't have to like it. Not right now-- this is my time to just let myself feel how I feel and let it out. I'm doing this now so I can stay strong for my boys. I would urge anyone in my position to do the same. Let yourself feel what you feel, let it out, then you can continue to be strong and carry on and get on with making things better for yourself and your family.

Jitters

Okay, so Superman and I haven't gotten married yet. Not really, even though I call him my husband regularly. However we are tying the knot legally on Tuesday. Now I'm getting all nervous and anxious and excited. I'm super happy about it, but I have butterflies like nobody's business.  I have been through a wedding before, but this time I know it is the real deal. I'm in it for good. He's a great guy and a wonderful father and I love him to pieces. I really wonder though if I'm not going to drop some weight really fast now. I have nervous energy and while I generally have a stomach like a nuclear reaction chamber I feel a little ill when I'm nervous. I don't get stage fright, but this will be a small affair- very casual, just immediate family, our witnesses and the kids.  I have a nice dress that I'm going to wear, but no flowers, no plan, no ceremony really to speak of... and still I'm nervous.